Wellness for Real, Part Four of Series

With Rich Case My fourth interview in my "Wellness for Real" series, is with Rich Case . He is one of the most compassionate, centered, mindful, as well as truly kind individuals that I am blessed to know. He lives his life by example. His actions speak loud, and his words are always filled with wisdom and empathy. We are both huge Jewel fans, and this seems to have been the thread from which we have built a wonderful friendship. Hope you enjoy! Me: So, I usually start off with this question- Do you have your own definition of "wellness" that you can share? Before that though, I know today is your Anniversary- Happy Anniversary. Rich: Well, thank you for that. My own definition of wellness- I think I am still coming to my own conclusion. One of the books I am in the process of re-reading is Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping. This book seems even more meaningful today than when I bought the book back in 2008/ 2009. I was facilitating a group, and there was a gentleman in the group who mentioned this book. What I really enjoy is that a lot of these things speak differently to me, than when I originally read it. My takeaway:

Many times I find when reading a book, if I read it again years later, there are indeed things that speak differently to me as well. Possibly we are at different "stages" in our development, and also have experienced other things in between the times we read and re-read, where we have developed some different perspectives. This book, Radical Forgiveness, that Rich mentions is definitely on my "book list." Thank you Rich! #radicalforgiveness #perspective #wisdom #colintipping

Rich: I have also been blessed to meet some of the folks whose books I have also read. One of which is Father Joseph Martin who is famous for the film- Chalk Talk, about alcoholism and recovery. Later, I would have the chance to meet John Bradshaw who had a number of series on PBS on recovery and inner child work. I was also fortunate to meet Earnie Larson, who wrote a book- Stage Two Recovery. Here I learned the principle of : "What we live with we learn, what we learn we practice, what we practice we become, and what we become has consequences". And these consequences can be positive or negative. So, my "wellness" definition, would ultimately be learning who we are and what our purpose is. Over the years, I have found out more and more about authenticity and what my purpose in life may still be, and I am comfortable with this. My takeaway:

Some very profound insights that Rich shares. Authenticity and purpose are always areas that are worth chatting about! As Socrates said : “to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” I think on many levels we are all in "recovery" for something. Inner child work is always something precious, if we allow ourselves to do the deep work, and embrace the process. On the other side, does come many layers of healing. What Rich mentions about what we live with we learn.... much truth. Ultimately what we become does indeed have consequences. Many times, we are on a road to becoming who we really are not- this is where consciousness, as well as deep healing at the core can be transformational. Rich's definition of "wellness" is probably one of the best definitions, in my opinion. To learn who one is at the core, this is the journey. When we do this, we can then uncover our purpose. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said (he has been one of my favorites since I was a little girl) - "to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment". #socrates #emerson #ralphwaldoemerson #authenticity #purpose Me: So I think we all may have a similar purpose- which is helping others. The more authentic we become and the more we live from the core of who we are, and thus express ourselves in our own unique and creative ways, we are helping others do the same. Helping others be their true selves. Thoughts? Rich: Yes, when I help others, I, in turn, help myself. Pieces of you are pieces of me. As I listen to others I find pieces of me. Thus, more healing for me My takeaway:

Some deep truth- "pieces of you are pieces of me" #healing #authenticity #betruetoyouself Me: You are definately someone who "walks their talk". You share personal experiences, as well as insights. You are one of the most compassionate listeners that I know. This coupled with the fact that you are not one who is in any type of "interrogator" energy. This I find to be rare, as I believe we live in a society that is filled with much judgment, and condemnation. Others can be our biggest "hindrance" to moving forward and being happy. Many times, people ask a lot of questions, and put others on the defensive as to how they are feeling, and/ or what their perspectives are. We are all entitled to our own feelings, as well as thoughts and perspectives. Practicing non-judgment of others is key and instrumental to truly assisting another with their own soul's growth and evolution. I would think that you have been instrumental in much of many people's growth and transformation? thoughts? Rich: Back when I was a family therapist. I worked with family members as well as addicts and alcoholics. In 1978 I went to my first Al Anon Meeting, and they talked about "just for today." Can I do these things every day? Some days one can be good at some; other days maybe only do one or two of them. Some days one is attuned and some days not. It is almost like a bio rhythm. I try and stay in my own rhythm. When moderating/ facilitating domestic violence or anger management, I would often use some of the things I learned in Earnie Larson's book Stage Two Recovery. Though the facilitator and myself had different backgrounds, ( she was an RN who worked on the medical side) - while doing the counseling/ therapy work, one of first things we tried to get across to people sent by the courts, was that we were not there to punish, but to help them see that what they were doing was not working well, and we offered some alternative. Alternatives that may work better. We only had two " repeat customers" in the six years. The idea was for them to get to know who they are, and one of the things they learned was they are not their behavior, but they are responsible for it. One of the things that happens... we do one or two things in life, and have a lot of shame. But we should not be characterized by that. People need to be responsible, but also understand that they are not that behavior. They are more than that behavior. Jewel talks about this a lot- we are not our behaviors and not our thoughts and not our emotions. We may be having thoughts and emotions, but we do not have to act on them. Most important, we are more than our behaviors, feelings, and thoughts. My takeaway:

Having others who can reflect back to us, who we truly are, is invaluable. "Seeking wise counsel" ( what I call it)- is always not only wise but essential. Questions I like to ask myself : is what I am listening to and who I am communicating with - is this authentically speaking to who I am? Taking one day at a time, always works well for me, and knowing I am doing my best. I know my rhythm, and as Rich says, so eloquently, some days we are better and more attuned at staying in our flow and "bio rhythm". I think it is important to not allow others rhythms to "dictate" how we need to navigate our own day. I love what Rich shared about his working with the RN in the therapy/ counseling work. Powerful insights and much kudos on only having two 'repeat customers" in six years. #rhythm #flow #wisecounsel #intheflow #discernment #justfortoday Me: Let's talk for a moment about "choices" and options. Sometimes we forget that we have the power of choice. One of the few freedoms we still have. Many are not consciously choosing. While others are very conscious. When making a decision, how do you make decisions that are coming from a clear and pure center? Rich: It is always important that I realize that I have choices and don’t need to jump the train track based on others decisions, actions, or words and emotional state. I find that it is a new freedom that I didn’t realize that I always had. How wonderful it is to learn that however long we have been alive, we can always learn more about ourselves. My takeaway:

Always powerful to know we are always 'at choice". When there is intention, deep alignment, and consciousness- we "decide" better. Decisions that come from a centered place are usually the ones that bring peace. #choices #powerofchoice #powerofintention Me: This brings me to the term that you have used before: "enlightened self interest". I never heard this term before, and it is a "good one"! What does this mean for you? Rich: I have to keep remembering that I am powerless over a number of things, and that I also have choices or options. One of the things I am powerless over is other peoples’ choices and behaviors. It is important for me to recognize my "enlightened self-interest". That is to say what is healthiest for me. Selection of this often includes consultation with my Higher Power and soul. Being an observer of others' choices and behaviors doesn’t mean that I am forced to be involved. If I see a whirling dervish it doesn’t mean I have to join the chaos. In addition, sometimes "enlightened self interest" will involve projects that would be healthier for me to do, to benefit the group. I am one of many. If I develop new behaviors will this also benefit others, as well as myself. My takeaway:

Love this! Much wisdom in this! #enlightenedselfinterest #choices #powerlessness Me: You mentioned Jewel in a previous question, and you and I are huge fans! . She talks a lot about nature versus nurture. I believe that she is a true example of a " phoenix rising". And, most importantly, she leads by example. As a young girl, I wrote poetry, played concert piano, and was gifted in art. So much of her creativity and self expression resonates with me on a very deep level, that most do not understand. She is spectacular in being raw, real, honest, and true to herself- especially in putting pen to paper for her songs/ poetry. She is also very vocal about the fact that her "goal" is to be a whole happy person first and musician second. Why do you think Jewel, her story, her lyrics, and her life resonate so much with people like us. Do you think it is primarily because we all want to rise from the ashes of our own personal stories to triumph and be examples for others that they can do the same? And secondly, are we not all trying to find true happiness in our own unique journeys? Rich: Jewel talks a lot about the importance of forgiveness and gratitude. "Hard Wood Grows Slowly". This is an important principle and takes a while before it takes root in our lives. When we learn to not only forgive ourselves, and forgive others, we free up energies, and our creative force inside is unleashed. Thus, we continue to move forward, and not remain stuck in that area any longer. When I first got involved in recovery, someone shared about "walking up the down escalator". If we don't continue walking up, we end up at the bottom. The "escalator of recovery" is also just like the "escalator of joy".... Joy is not a destination but a journey. My takeaway:

Jewel talks a lot about the three pillars to change: transformation, transmutation, and transcendence. And "hard wood does grow slowly". As Rich mentions when we forgive ourselves, as well as others, we free up energy, and creativity can be unleashed. I believe we all want to be the "phoenix rising" in our own lives, and with this journey, we can embrace joy along the way. As Rich says, joy is indeed a journey. Continuing to "walk" up" the "down escalator" does take intention, and consciousness. Rich is a great example of someone who continues to take steps "up" and keeps moving forward. It is a true privilege and a true joy to know Rich, and I am grateful for this time we had to chat. #joy #gratitude #hardwoodgrowsslowly #jewel

Wellness For Real, Part Two of Series

With Nancy Thielman – Spa, Fitness, Wellness Director at Koquina Sand Spa at Esplanade Golf and Country Club, Lakewood Ranch, Florida My second interview in my "Wellness for Real" series, is with Nancy Thielman, who is the Spa, Fitness, Wellness Director at Koquina Sand Spa at Esplanade Golf and County Club in Lakewood Ranch, Florida. It was such a joy to share ideas, perspectives, as well as practical tools, as we can all embrace fully "wellness for real" in our own lives. Hope you enjoy! Me: Do you have your own definition of "wellness" that you'd like to share? Nancy: Well, this is a tricky question. Wellness is not just going to the gym. That is just one aspect of wellness. Fitness; nutrition; self care; as well as the social aspect of wellness (which can be tough right now, since many are not doing the "social" things that they would "normally" be doing); and also the spiritual aspect – all go into my "definition" of wellness. My takeaway: Love chatting with those individuals especially, that understand that "wellness" is not just about exercise and nutrition. The other aspects of wellness are also key components in our overall wellness. #wellnessforreal Me: So, you touched on the "social" aspects of wellness. I think even though people are not doing what they would "normally" be doing to nurture this aspect; I do think this is a time, when many are not only creating, but maintaining, deeper connections that may end up being more "beneficial" to our overall health.I also think that many are looking at other "connections" they may have, and not "relating" as much on a deep level, and those relationships may not be as nurturing and fulfilling. Thoughts? Nancy: I think we now have more time to be even more introspective. Those who are using this time to become more self aware, are getting in touch with feelings and emotions they are experiencing, and may be more willing to talk about these feelings and emotions with others who are providing a safe space, and doing much of the same. Some of those people who I may just send a text to, I am now picking up the phone, and having a conversation with them. Skype and zoom also are great ways to connect. My takeaway: These are great points Nancy shares. The more we are using this time to become more introspective, self aware, be more in tune with our feelings and emotions, and take the time to communicate with others who are doing the same, the opportunity to connect on deeper levels is enhanced. #selfawareness #emotionalwellness Me: So this brings me to the question - how are you dealing with those who are focused on fear, anxiety, and worry. I am seeing that those who are experiencing some of these - are "dumping" or "projecting" onto others, which is really not fair. I call it "projectile" vomit on another person. LOL. Thoughts? Nancy: I have developed for myself a shield of protection, so I try not to absorb the negative. My takeaway: Developing tools that work, to deal with those who are in fear, anxiety, and worry is a great thing to have. Ultimately, we need to be aware of our own energy and thoughts. Keeping our own energy clear, balanced, and centered is where we find peace, calm, joy, gratitude, and authentic power. #gratitude #balancedenergy #clearenergy #authenticpower Me: With so many in the Spa/ Hospitality industry that are now at home, or spending more hours at home-what types of things are you implementing into your weekly routine, if anything? Any "spa-type"rituals that you do at home? Nancy: I am lucky enough to have the resources to do my own facials at home. I take time each week to practice "self care" – this includes facials, going on walks. as well as I meditate daily. This is my way of bringing the "Spa to Self." My takeaway: Great stuff! Bringing the "Spa to Self" is a great intention and practice! #spatoself #selfcare Me: Do you have some daily rituals? Nancy: Yes, I do a daily ritual after I shower in the morning with moon water. The moon water is infused with gem stones, some essential oils, and it is bathed in each full moon. I set an intention in the morning, whatever comes to me, and that is my intention for the day. My takeaway: So how cool is this! I am a huge believer in the power of thoughts, as well as intentions. Since I have studied astrology for many years, I am also fascinated with how Nancy makes her moon water that she uses daily. Talk about a daily ritual! The daily rituals we incorporate into our lives are crucial, I believe, as to how our day unfolds. Daily rituals are not a "one size fits all" approach, but we can share with others what works for us, and if it works for others terrific, and if not, then possibly they can come up with their own daily rituals that work well for them. I love Nancy's daily ritual, as it is not only creative, but energetically grounding. #dailyrituals #powerofthought #powerofintention Me: So tell me more about this moon water. Is this something you came up with yourself? Nancy: So, I now make this moon water myself. I used to buy it from Bodhi Basics in St Pete, Florida, but they do not always have this in stock, so I started making my own. This is where I got the idea. So each full moon, I place the gem stone that is associated with the planets for the moon and sun cycle during the full moon. I then use the essential oils that are associated with these astrological signs, and infuse into the water, and set it out in the full moon each month. My takeaway: What a fun, creative, and nurturing thing to do the day of each full moon! I am sure that Nancy's sharing of this, will inspire others to think about incorporating this, or incorporating other "rituals" that include those things that may resonate with one's own desire for daily, weekly, monthly rituals that can be embraced to create joy and intention. #dailyrituals #powerofintention #joy Me: So when your Spa is open, what types of workshops do you like to have, if any? Nancy: Our clientele is more on the "conservative" side, so we do have workshops on things such as the benefits of massage, etc...Most of the workshops that we have are vendor based; i.e. make up/ skin care. In the past we had a jewelry- malla making seminar, which was very popular. We will be adding more workshops on meditation and "Spa at Home." My takeaway: Workshops, as well as seminars, are always a great way to teach, share experiences, network with guests and the community. Joining with others can be extremely beneficial for all involved. #community Me: I have mentioned to you before, that you have such an amazing team there at Koquina Sand Spa . Right away, one can sense the amazing synergy of your team. It is a special energy, and it is clear everyone likes their job, and likes working there. As a leader, you definitely "walk your talk", so i do think that reflects on those around you. How do you keep your team so aligned, and genuinely happy to work there? Nancy: We do have regular staff meetings to go over what is working, and what is not, and share feedback. I find the daily, on the spot training, to be most effective I also have an open door policy, if team members want to chat about anything, they know where to find me. My takeaway: Nancy's leadership speaks for itself, just by observing and interacting with her team. Energy does not lie, and the energy and synergy of her team is evident. #wellnessatwork #workplacewellness #teamsynergy #Koquina Sand Spa Me: So, in wrapping up, let's talk about all your amazing experience within the Spa industry- working at Longboat Key Club, Safety Harbour; as well as your going to school for political science. What is it that you love about the Spa industry and how did you evolve into Spa from your pursuing a political science education? Nancy: So that I do not give you an answer that probably all people will give, I will just give you a "Nancy Story." I studied political science, as I wanted to be "political" and "save the world." At some point, I understood that for me, this was not the route to go, so I then went into fitness to help people. Helping individuals one at a time and empower them. This then broadened into wellness. I have been in the Fitness/ Spa industry 24 years, and before that just fitness. So, it has been an evolution for me, grasping total wellness. I understand that the best way to create common consciousness is one person at a time. My takeaway: I think people who are in "wellness" fields, tend to have a common core intention to help people and make the world better. I am a big proponent to the idea that "no one heals alone". We all "need" one another. Not in a "needy " way, but in a way that allows others to authentically be the best they can be, and reach their unique potential. Mastering oneself, and healing at the core, one can then be present for others who are doing the same on their journey into "wellness for real". Healing and wellness is a "process" and the more we are around others who embrace their own process and are authentic, the more we can shift our culture into a better "wellness" model. #wellness #healing #itsaprocess I want to thank Nancy so much for this interview. A true leader, and inspiration of someone who "walks her talk." If you'd like to learn more about Koquina Sand Spa at Esplanade Golf and Country Club, please check out: http://www.koquinasandspa.com